You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize