she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
