There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
