Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
