Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
