sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
