I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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