Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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