shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
