:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
