Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
