youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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