I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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