This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
