We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
