i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
