It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
