That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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