Her vagina should come with caution tape.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
