i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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