Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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