went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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