i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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