i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
