guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
