I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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