I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
