honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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