It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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