Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
