dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
