do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
