In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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