This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
His nipple licking is glorious
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