I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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