when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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