seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
