Non-Jews are for practice
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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