Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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