Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
