Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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