I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize