Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Send help, water and tortillas.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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