I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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