4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
