Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
