Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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