I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
