if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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