Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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