i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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