last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
