I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
