She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
