So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
