how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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