im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
