Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
