when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
